Merry Christmas!

I know 15 months isn't a crazy important age, but it's when Joshua will be getting more shots, so I figured, it's Christmas time--great time for an update right?

Danny and I are so incredibly amazed EVERY DAY by the things that Joshua is learning! Here's a few fun photos and fun facts from the last 3 months, as told by little J (pictured to your left trying to fit into the rice cooker. The cats must be teaching him tricks...):


As you can tell, I'm quite the artist these days. A few weeks ago, I discovered the art of drawing. My preference is the marker, but momma's not a fan of the marker actually finding it's way onto everything. Clothes, carpet, walls, tile, etc. She doesn't know I was listening, but she said she's got these "white board crayons" for Christmas under the tree. I'm not sure which present they are, but I'll be watching....








Some of my newest skills are relative to climbing. I can now fit inside some extremely small locations. Sometimes I even get stuck going through my toy farm house. It's not a fun feeling guys. Thankfully my mom is super awesome and rescues me quick! 

Speaking of momma, I now speak to her constantly. Sometimes, I just whisper her name for fun..."mommommommommoma" It's pretty great stuff, this language ability. Now if only my "s" words didn't all come out like "sahsa"--yes, I do in fact LOVE salsa and chips. Mexican food is the best thing ever invented. (Beans, beans, the magical fruit anyone? I'm learning well Grandpa.)

I'm getting pretty frustrated with mom and dad for not ALWAYS understanding my baby speak. When I say "buh!" I mean I want to push the garage door button now please! When I say "behr" (which is pretty obvious I think) I want pears. When I sign "more" insistently and point, it means I want whatever is in the general direction--duh! Whenever I bang my hands on the container cupboards, I'm asking for you to open it up and give me free reign with the pots and pans. (you have no say in the matter actually, despite being my parents. love ya guys.)

Food and I have a love hate relationship lately. Sometimes I am totally cool with eating EVERYTHING in sight. Other times, whatever "healthy" stuff mom gives me is just NOT appealing and I'd rather eat animal crackers and drink lots of "mih" (while signing "milk") thank you very much. On this day over here, we made this AWESOME looking gingerbread house. I ate a whole gingerbread guy. And some gummies. It's mom's fault I look like this cuz she never gives me any candy. like ever.... (I've been told I'll thank her for it one day? That day is yet to come)

Oh! I have a new trick! Let's see if you can guess what it is! I pull my ears out. And I bob my head up and down. And if I could just make the sounds come out of my mouth at the same time as doing those two tricksy things, then I'd say "oo! Oo! Ah! Ah!" 

Yeah, monkey's are pretty cool stuff. And the Curious George puppet book with "behlulubes" in it is my favorite book right now. I can make the puppet do if you're happy and you know it and patty cake! Definitely the greatest thing invented. Mom has been trained to read this to me before every nap (almost..she forgets sometimes). 

I went to give a present to my friend Aurora the other day. And I was most displeased to learn momma gave her MY shape sorter! We proceeded to have a shouting match about who was in charge of doing the shapes. (It should have been me cuz I know my shapes so well now, but I was trying to be nice, so I bonked her hard on the head with my head and let her play with the toy too. Mom says it wasn't very nice, but I was just trying to give her boy kisses.) 

Oh and guys! Have you seen the Christmas trees? They're everywhere and there are so many shinies on them! I love to touch the lights and pull off the shiny balls to play with (and sometimes break). 

One of my other favorite Christmas activities was looking at the choo-choos in the neighbor's yard. They were like moving cars! And were totally off limits....so not fair cuz I was dying to touch them and help them zoom around! 

Mom thinks I like firetrucks, so we went with daddy and the scouts to the fire station a few weeks ago. It would have been more fun if she hadn't try to abandon me on the fire truck to take my picture. So not cool mom. 

These crazy parents of mine took me to see a movie a while ago....yeah. that was a  mistake on their part. I liked the big puffy white robot guy for a little while, but really, I just wanted to crawl all over the other people's feet and preferably eat their floor snacks. (Mom has a problem with this for some reason...)

Other adventures from this month include a birthday bash for my friend Linus, and going to lunch with the aunts and uncles after their last day of school. Chick fil a chicken nuggets are my favorite! 

Aunt Jenna definitely has top status in my life right now. She's my best friend (besides mom, dad, grandma, grandma, grandpa, grandpa, and grandpa, Lincoln, Natalie, oh and the cats!)

As you can see, I'm still quite the red head. Combing my hair with mom's brush is a really strange sensation. But we take selfies after. Which I think is fun mostly cuz I get to look at myself in the mirror AND the phone at the same time!! Check me out!

Hello? Are you there? I mostly say "Ahhh? uhhhh?" but mom and dad are great at playing my game of answering the phone. They have now graduated to advanced phone talking status.

They actually scored a few points at the ward Christmas party for letting me drink from a big boy cup and eat my rolls on a fork.





But they lost those points and dropped into the negatives on my radar later than night.



I think the next pic is self explanatory.

Clearly I did not enjoy that strange man in red and white. I was WAY more interested in the toys he had stashed near his big ol' chair!

Mom usually earns points back on a daily basis by taking me to the park to go down the slides. I hold hands now. I've graduated from going down backwards. That's for babies.


Bikes and cars are "oom ooms" so mom is expected to interpret these sounds accordingly. That one's pretty obvious. I get the credit there for communicating the best!




Despite all the craziness of being 1, learning to walk, talk, and do a million other things to try to be an independent kinda guy, mostly I am loving and kind and extremely observant. Mom and dad say i'm super handsome and strong and talented all the time. I plan to be a drummer, a cellist, and a pianist all at once. Oh and I'll be a great swimmer when I'm not afraid of the water on my head in the shower....

PS: We're trying to move to a new house so I can grow up big with baby brothers and sisters (no Mom doesn't have a baby in her tummy yet--I've checked!-- but I'm getting eager for a sibling so she better work on that......). I have to pick up my toys now to keep the house clean for people to look at. Lame. I see some birds outside, and a wagon to push, so I'm gonna go play now!


I'll now blow you a big giant kiss bye bye! --Joshua

Merry Christmas!

Love,

The Petersons

Anyone want to be stronger and healthier? I did. Here's how I did it! :)

All of us have had the moments, whether we're in the middle of them now, or they are a thing of the past, where we think to ourselves: I wish I was able to fit into those jeans; I wish I could exercise more often; I wish I could stop eating sugar and snacking so much. I wish I didn't feel so depressed all the time; I wish I felt sexy again; I wish I wish I wish. We've all had them. 

What if I could tell you I found out that all of those wishes were possible after I was willing to put in some time, hard work, and good effort? 

I've had a lot of friends ask me what I've been doing to get into such great shape post baby. 

Well let me tell you: 

Back in the start of September, I saw a post on a friend's facebook account asking if anyone would be interested in learning to live a better lifestyle, eat better foods, and likely gain muscle tone and endurance out of it. I was SO interested, so naturally, I asked for more information. She proceeded to tell me about this awesome program called the 21 Day Fix, which was created by Autumn Calabrese, a mother of two kids, as well as a Beach Body instructor, coach, and model. I'll admit, I was skeptical. This couldn't really produce THOSE kind of results right? 

I did my research. I looked at blogs (http://soreyfitness.com/fitness/21-day-fix-autumn-calabrese/    http://thefithousewife.com/success-stories/) of a person my friend (Noelle Briggs, now my upline coach in Beach Body) new personally who had had success with this program. Don't get me wrong, by September, I was honestly feeling really great about myself. I was maybe 10 pounds max away from pre-baby weight, but I had worked hard to exercise and eat well and had seen enough results to be content. But I LOVE learning, so the more I learned about the 21 day fix, the more intrigued I became. I decided it couldn't hurt to try it (there is a 30 day money back guarantee on all BeachBody programs) and if it didn't do what I wanted, then I'd send it back, no questions asked. 

Click. 

I ordered, and I waited for my challenge pack to come. When it did, I was excited! And then I started reading. And feeling overwhelmed. All my anxiety came rushing back and I worried that I just wasn't the type of person who could do this. I had meal planned before, but this called for attention to detail that I'd never paid attention to before--different food groups, finding foods that would measure correctly in the containers, no processed ANYTHING, etc. 

But since my challenge group hadn't actually started, and wouldn't start for another week, I decided I could start and do a "trial week" by myself. I would try to stick to the meal plan and exercises, but I wouldn't let myself get down if I made a mistake or couldn't do it one day. 

Here is a brief overview of the program, called the 21 DAY FIX: 

http://www.beachbody.com/product/fitness_programs/21-day-fix-simple-fitness-eating.do?e=289045 

Before 1st Challenge

Week one went better than I could have imagined, even in the midst of planning Joshua's first birthday party--with treats....lol. 

Before 1st Challenge

My only regret is that my before and after photos don't show the before I started even the "trial week"

AFTER 1st Challenge

AFTER 1st Challenge

September 28th, I took my own before and after photos. Mostly cuz I was embarrassed to ask Danny to take them for me, cuz I was worried he thought I was silly for wanting to do a program from home and jump and run around the house like a lunatic. (it's not that bad, but my exaggeration side of the brain took over at that point.) So excuse the lack of photography skills in my first set of pics. Cuz I took pics before and after the first challenge. 

Before 2nd Challenge

Dec. 2nd, 2014 POST 2 Challenges (42 days)

After my first 21 day fix challenge, I had lost a total of 9.5 inches throughout my arms, chest, waist, hips, and thighs. I was shocked to say the least, and I felt SO much stronger, more able to do the things I wanted to do, and because of that, I wanted to see what would happen after another 21 days. This next 21 days I wasn't nearly as strict--I ate out and had birthday treats 3-4 times. ;)  

Before 2nd Challenge

Dec. 2nd, 2014 POST 2 Challenges (42 days)

So I took AGAIN starting at the beginning of November, and this is where I didn't loose as many inches, but I toned up. A LOT more than I could have expected. My after picture is actually from TODAY, so it's my current results from keeping up on my exercise, nutrition, etc. (please excuse my odd expressions...)

Since October 20,2014, I've lost an additional 4-5 pounds, and an additional 4 inches! (I don't know why the pics don't quite match....weird stuff happened going from phone to computer...)

Dec. 2nd, 2014 POST 2 Challenges (42 days)

Before 2nd Challenge

Lessons learned: you get out of something what you put into it. When I had  my Shakeology (ask me about that), when I did my workouts, and ate all my food--it's kinda a lot--I saw results. I can do pushups (real ones ladies) for 45 seconds straight, I can plank for a minute no sweat, I can hold my 25 pound baby in one arm and not feel like my back is gonna die, I can DO so much more because I put in the time and effort to MEAL PLAN and EXERCISE. (Pinterest is AMAZING by the way.)

My pinterest board: http://www.pinterest.com/swimwriter312/21day-fixclean-eating/

SO! What does this mean for you? Well, I think it means it's possible, post baby to have your abs back, and for me, the final process of toning up (still going) has taken nearly 60 days. And i don't want to stop. I don't want to be like insane exercise momma. But that's the beauty of the 21 Day Fix. I DID NOT exercise like crazy. I did a 30 minute workout video provided in the plan each day. 30 Minutes and an eating plan to follow to change those eating habits in just 21 days? Heck yes. I'll be doing this when I'm pregnant, cuz it's low impact; I'll be doing this to kickstart myself after the holidays; and I'll be doing other fantastic programs all from home, without the added stress of child care at the gym--cuz that stresses me out. 

Bye bye 2014....

What I wanna know is are you in? Who wants to do this with me starting January 5th, 2015?????????? I'll be your coach and I promise, you won't regret it! 

"When you're tired of starting over, STOP giving up!"-Autumn Calabrese

If you plan to order this program, please use this site! 

www.beachbodycoach.com/SWIMWRITER312

And so it begins!

11 Months!

This last month has flown by! Despite taking his picture at the end of the month, I totally spaced updating Joshua's stats. So here's what he's been up to this last month:

- Lot's of standing and cruising: He's getting so fast at walking around furniture, and even loves the walker wagon we borrowed until we get him one for his birthday (shhhh! don't tell). He has all kinds of things he wants to explore now!

- Being outside: this is Joshua's new favorite thing. It's throwing me for a loop that the weather got nice and then hot again. Boy am I suffering cuz I would LOVE to just let him roam free on the patio, but it's been too hot, or it's been crazy rainy.

- learning new sounds: "dat" is still cat, but it also means dog, bird, and any animal he happens to see; "bah" is his sound for book and for bottle/cup of milk; "mommom" is what I think is his sound for me...we'll see if that sticks. haha


- New tricks, like standing on his head. See right....

- developing a picky appetite: all of the sudden, he won't just eat everything I give him. He's selective. If there are chicken pieces, cheese pieces, and broccoli, he'll pick out exactly what he wants and leave the rest.

- baby signs: he finally learned "more!" It's been so funny cuz he'll use more and do this funny, underhanded pointing thing to gesture that he wants something, even if he hasn't started eating it yet (like mom's smoothie). He also only wants to eat what Danny and I are eating. If it's not exactly the same thing, or something he likes better, than you can bet he won't touch it.

- End of breastfeeding: We stopped just after 11 months cuz he was just not nursing well. Change for me? A bit, but more of a relief in many ways. Change for him? doesn't seem like it, but he's been WAY more clingy than he was last week. Hopefully it'll pass, but for now, I'll do my best to give him extra snuggles and stories cuz he's sure a momma's boy.

I've realized something today: you start out life as a mom with a newborn. And it's hard cuz it's new and you've never been so sleep deprived and yada yada. Well,  you finally get used to that, and BAM! Something changes! They turn into these teething little devils with drool and poor naps, and all kinds of temperaments.  Then you get used to that all over again, and things are good for a while. They start doing fun things like crawling, getting into a few things, but not too many things, and then suddenly that's not enough. They are awake longer, into EVERYTHING, and you just have to go go go to keep up with them. All of the middle adjustments have been a piece of cake compared to this! I feel like I'm as tired as I was when Joshua was brand new! My body isn't used to having to provide so much physical energy throughout the day to keep up with him and to keep him entertained. So end of my little schpeel: I'm tired and I'm feeling it. Now I just need to adjust haha.

Love my little bugeroo. He's growing up so fast! It's easy to just let him be independent all the time, but I have to remind myself he still needs me a TON right now, and will for the next 18 years (or longer...lol).

Here's to the next month, the month I'm officially going to be the mother of a toddler. *dun dun dun duhhhhhh*

Yes I have depression. And it's part of who I am.

I'm hesitant to write this post, but it really is helpful for me to have more people know what I'm struggling with.

The last couple days have been hard. Harder than my typical day has felt like in at least a good solid week. The only thing I feel it really comes back to is seeing so much and hearing so much about depression as a result of Robin Williams' suicide. I feel sick when I have the thought creep into my mind that "that could have been me" if I hadn't sought the right help.

You see, I am struggling with depression and anxiety. And it sucks. But I'm coming to realize it's a part of who I am, and who I always will be.

I have had a hard time accepting that my struggles mentally and emotionally could be as difficult as say, my best friend who lost her baby. Or my long time friend from first grade who suffers from Crohn's Disease. Or the poor girl whose family was murdered in Texas.

It's easy, oh so easy, to write off my own struggles when compared to those of others. But it doesn't make mine any easier long term to just ignore them, or say that I don't have it "as bad" as someone else.

Comparison really is the death of all positive thought.

Even now, I find myself wondering if I'm only writing this because I've read so many posts of friends and acquaintances who have shared their stories about depression. But I have to remind myself that I'm writing both for me, and for anyone else I know who has or does feel the way I have felt. You are NOT alone!

Ever since my senior year in high school, I've had the hardest time getting out of the dark holes I find myself tripping into throughout life. Whether they are related to my relationships with other people, or ones that crop up due to life experiences such as graduation, starting college, being a student teacher, being pregnant, becoming a mother; these holes, even pits at times, are exhaustive to climb out of.

During all of these times, as well as presently, I can identify sometime or another  that I felt dreadfully depressed and critical of myself. It's during those times that any and all insecurities I have about myself creep back into my thoughts. Those thoughts have at times been so destructive and negative that I could barely make myself get out of bed, let alone accomplish anything in my day. "Thinking positively" was essentially impossible, exercise was exhausting, and I couldn't seem to focus on anything. (And I STILL feel this way sometimes by the way).

Physically, anything that could be hurting--my wrists, my lower back, my neck--it all hurts worse during the times I feel more down.

At times, I would/have felt like I was going insane, because it felt like my thoughts were out of control: and they were just there--I didn't have to let myself dwell on them for more to just hedge in and build some kind of wall for me to climb to get to the other side.  My reality in dealing with depression and anxiety has been that those thoughts are almost always there, even on the good days.

During Primary we talked about how telling lies constantly allows the little "lie monster" to follow you around. In much the same way, I have a little (and sometimes gigantic) depression monster who just won't leave me alone. Sometimes, like a bug, he's easy to kick aside, and even squash. Others, he is persistent and looming and nasty.

Satan works so hard to get us down and keep us there. And for so many of us out there, he uses our own minds to turn us against ourselves. I feel so guilty for comparing myself to others, and so overwhelmed with all the things I want to do day to day. I sit at home with Joshua some mornings and just feel empty. Sure I'm smiling and trying to be happy about being a mother, because somewhere I KNOW deep down I DO love being a mother. But the reality is that sometimes I don't FEEL like a great mother, or a loving and affectionate wife, or caring friend.

The way I feel is disturbing to me: the hardest part of this is feeling able to connect emotionally with others. I can honestly say I don't think I actually cried from near the time Joshua was born (maybe about 2 months afterwards) until May 31 of this year. Now, I still have a hard time feeling like my emotions can surface, but most of the time on bad days, I just feel empty, nothing, and downright bad about myself.

And yet, as difficult as motherhood has been, I'm grateful EVERY DAY for the tiny, smiling, giggling baby boy I've been privileged to nurture for almost a whole year so far, because without him, I don't know if I could get up in the morning on some days.

I'm grateful for an incredibly loving and compassionate husband who has supported me throughout all of this and continues to do so every day in the small and large things we endure together.

I'm grateful for the wonderful and supportive mother I have, who lets me talk through some of my destructive trains of thought with her.

I'm grateful for friends who I can talk to and who encourage me to go and DO things with them--girls nights, play dates, etc.

I'm grateful for a counselor who has so many helpful tips, and who encourages my husband to keep coming with me to our sessions.

I'm grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who has placed so many people in my life to aid me, near and far; for the Atonement of Jesus Christ, which is for so much more than the repentance of our sins.

I'm grateful for the courage I was able to find to seek help (spiritually, psychologically, and physically) before my depression got too severe.

And I'm grateful for my depression, because it's MINE and completely and utterly unique to me, and I know that Heavenly Father wouldn't have given me this trial in my life without blessing me with the tools with which to over come it.


I AM ENOUGH.


This is written on my mirror, so I can see it every day. I hope in reading it daily, I'll start to feel so more frequently.

So don't be afraid to reach out, and to share your struggles with the world, to ask for help when you need it, or better yet, ask before--because mental illness is REAL and it is HARD.

But I am ENOUGH.





Here are a few wonderful talks that have uplifted me:

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/like-a-broken-vessel?lang=engv



Note to any new moms, or mom's to be: Post partum depression doesn't just occur within a few months of your baby's birth--it's a good year of time that those chemical and hormonal imbalances can impact your life. For me, it comes in waves, sometimes days, sometimes weeks; and as a wise friend told me--the amount of time it takes to reach a low in your life is at least the amount of time it will take to come out of it. There is not a quick fix for depression. It's something I'll likely fight every baby, and every day of my life: but I CAN get stronger and learn how to combat it.

The Big 1-0...

I'm in shock.

My baby is ten months old...it doesn't feel like it's been long enough... 

He's still just a baby, and he's not even one year old (yet). But ten months is down right crazy!

I mean, look at him: 

Joshua is getting so aware of everything around him. 

This month, he feels even taller than normal. But he hasn't grown a whole lot... 

It must be because he's crawling, standing, climbing, and cruising. Talk about a big adjustment, for him AND for mom and dad. I can't even count how many times I've heard sudden silence and found him halfway up the stairs calling "thhat" (for "cat"). He says "dada" and "nana" and uses his signs more and more frequently. It's still frustrating when I can't figure out exactly what he needs, but we're both getting better at interpreting and communicating in baby language. 

Camping was great (as soon as mommy stopped freaking out about every little thing that didn't go the way she planned...hehem..camping is tough with an infant...get over it, right?). 

New experiences at the Arby's parking lot.

We learned Joshua is not one to get dirty...or pricked by anything pokey...So grass was a new experience...

We call this the beached whale position... ;) Yes. I made my husband and son wear their fourth of July outfits to match me, even though we were camping and it rained. ALL DAY.

 Not even joking, it was like winter in Gilbert up at Big Lake over the fourth of July. I made Joshua  a quick little hat cuz his poor head was cold all the time.

The Donaldson Family Reunion got crashed by the Westenskows (not really), but it was fun to see all of our family on the holiday weekend. If you can't tell, Joshua is posing for the camera. He did this a lot this month.

See what I mean?

If he wasn't posing for the camera, then he was crying into it. This was his expression the first morning we woke up. He was up at 5AM, if not earlier, and slept with me both nights cuz it was SO stinking cold! I love the boogers. 

Where is Waldo?   These thermal pj's were extremely stylish! 

All in all, this month went by WAY too fast, and it made me feel like my little baby is growing into a toddler far too quickly. He's been standing for weeks now, climbing stairs all over the place (we're learning to go down still), and he's getting so independent that he won't just let me carry him all around places--he wants to be on the floor if possible. 

I love him so much and am so grateful for the wonderful experiences he's brought me and Danny. 

 




Best idea ever--play in the backyard with the hose.

Those who don't swim, spray.

Who needs a pool to get cooled off anyway? ;)

 I still don't know how he managed to freeze in the air for the picture. haha.

I LOVE how much he loves his daddy.

Peaches taste great. 

Along with everything else I can put in my mouth. 

Have a great start of the school year!